you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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