I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
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you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
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I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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