he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
