I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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