I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
