just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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