We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize