dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
