i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everclear isn't food dammit
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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