So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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