Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
