bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize