I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
