nut hugger
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
