I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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