Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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