Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
