so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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