I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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