So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
