His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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