Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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