Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize