omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
