Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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