you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
