Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
