Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
