So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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