I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i love accidental penises.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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