Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
