Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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