Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
