Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Randomize
