Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Barsexuality is the new black.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
