My liver just broke up with me...
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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