but the lizard people decide everything anyway
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
