so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize