New invention idea: vibrating tampons
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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