yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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