I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
