The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize