My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
