you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
