This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
