he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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