jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize