I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
