They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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