he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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