Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
