im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
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I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
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I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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