Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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