i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
