The maid of honor just puked.
Screwed.edu
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
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This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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