what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
FUCK WHALES
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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