you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
