You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
